WellesleyWeston Magazine

SUMMER 2018

Launched in 2005, WellesleyWeston Magazine is a quarterly publication tailored to Wellesley and Weston residents and edited to enrich the experience of living in two of Massachusetts' most desirable communities.

Issue link: https://wellesleywestonmagazine.epubxp.com/i/978308

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confidence," says S. But experts say that com- munication is crucial to making adult chil- dren feel supported and validated and can often offer a road map to independence. "You need to start from a place of understanding; you need to acknowledge that coming home is difficult. But it is a cooperative relationship now, and you all need to sign on to that," says Geltman. Both Geltman and Newberry insist that discussing money needs to be paramount in any successful family conversation. Although, both acknowledge it can feel awkward to discuss remuneration with beloved children who are already cash poor. "Parents need to remember that their primary goal is to help their adult child toward independence. It's good for their self-esteem to feel like a con- tributing member of the household," says Newberry. Both say that setting timelines for incremental upticks in financial contributions is best. "Parents can lay it out and say, 'This is what we are willing to do and this is how long we are willing to do it for,'" says Geltman. She emphasizes that by keeping to a timeline, clear cut expectations can be met more easily. But no back pedaling. "Parents worry that their kids will be mad at them," she says. "But they can't get cold feet; they have to be willing to live with the consequences of their decisions." Wellesley resident Janet Mannheim's third son came home after college, and she knew the best thing she could do was to "after a few months make him just a little bit uncomfort- C A R T O O N S T O C K . C O M 112 W e l l e s l e y W e s t o n M a g a z i n e | s u m m e r 2 0 1 8 They're Back!

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