WellesleyWeston Magazine

SPRING 2018

Launched in 2005, WellesleyWeston Magazine is a quarterly publication tailored to Wellesley and Weston residents and edited to enrich the experience of living in two of Massachusetts' most desirable communities.

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n n n n n screens. Studies have shown that use of small screens makes the conversation feel more intimate, and kids are more likely to share more private information and feelings. n TEXTING ISN'T THE SAME AS TALKING. There are times when it's best not to type, but to talk. Texting is convenient, and it's easy for this to become a habit. Every now and then ask yourself and your kids, would it be better to talk in this situation? Reading emotions can be difficult in a text, and messges can more easily be misunderstood. n WHEN YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING, WAIT BEFORE YOU TEXT OR POST. Dr. Englander recommends the 24-hour rule, though readily acknowledges that it's highly unlikely that most teens will wait that long. "Even two hours will help!" she notes. n NOT ALL PHOTOS ARE MEANT TO BE SHARED. Discuss with kids when it's okay to post or share photos. What situations might require per- mission to post photos? n TALK WITH YOUR KIDS SO THEY WILL TALK, AND LISTEN. Talking with kids about their friends and what's going on with them, as well as social problems kids might be experiencing does help, even when it might not seem to be helping at the time. Dr. Englander's research has shown that, in most cases, kids report that their parents talking with them did have an impact. n OUTLINE RESPONSIBILITIES AND PRIVILEGES. Cellphones, paid for by mom and dad, are a privilege, not a right. The privilege of having a cellphone to use and the responsibility which accompanies it should be explicitly linked. What to Do if Your Child is Being Bullied If your child or someone you know is a target of cyber bullying, you can help him or her cope. Here are some steps you can take, adapted from Dr. Englander's website: 1.) Ensure that school administrators have a discussion with the bully and bystanders. 2.) Ensure that the bully and bystanders are informed about the possible consequences of bullying in school. 3.) Be sure that the victim has a safety and comfort plan that includes a safe person that he or she can go to at any time. 4.) Inform all relevant adults about the situation, including teachers, coaches, counselors, and bus drivers. 5.) Have a plan for less structured locations, such as on buses and in lunchrooms. A victim should not be left to hope they find a safe seat; seats near friends should be reserved in advance. Resources Check these links for more information. n THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT'S STOP BULLYING WEBSITE: www.stopbullying.gov n MASS LEGAL SERVICES (ANTI-BULLYING LAWS): www.masslegalservices.org/content/children's-issues- series-anti-bullying-laws n DR. ENGLANDER'S WEBSITE: www.elizabethenglander.com n MASSACHUSETTS AGGRESSION REDUCTION CENTER: www.marccenter.org n TYLER CLEMENTI'S STORY: https://tylerclementi.org/tylers-story/ 160 W e l l e s l e y W e s t o n M a g a z i n e | s p r i n g 2 0 1 8 family matters "there are steps that can be taken to help"

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