WellesleyWeston Magazine

SUMMER 2016

Launched in 2005, WellesleyWeston Magazine is a quarterly publication tailored to Wellesley and Weston residents and edited to enrich the experience of living in two of Massachusetts' most desirable communities.

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major change in plans where the impact extends far beyond the two of you. Your children are hurt by the seismic shake-up of their world and rather than being able to protect them from it, you are a party to it. The family that you have nurtured is no longer together; many nights you are not able to put your children to bed or see them off to school in the morning. Holidays can be difficult as you find yourself left out of the "family" celebrations that you used to organize. Friends often disap- pear or take sides and sometimes your own family is hurt and doesn't understand or know how to support you. Your financial future is uncer- tain as you contemplate dividing assets and funding two households. A profound sense of isolation stems from the realization that your future, and perhaps that of your children, is entirely up to you. However, devastation does not have to be the end of the story — it certainly has not been for Pavlina. "Divorce presents an opportunity for profound personal transformation," Pavlina explains. "It is an invi- tation to discover the depth of your strength and courage — to create a highly satisfying and authentic life for yourself, and be proud of YOU." Let's be clear, Pavlina is not promoting divorce. "If you can salvage your marriage, do it," Pavlina says. "Think about it very carefully and give yourselves time. If you decide divorce is the right choice, then know it will be much harder if you try to go it alone." You need sistering. "A girlfriend of mine took my hand and continuously reassured me that we were going to go through my divorce together," Paulina recalls. "She got me out of bed some mornings, went with me to see my lawyer, and helped me manage the constant flow of ups and downs until I could stand on my own feet. Having been through divorce herself, she was daily proof that I would eventually feel whole again." Convinced of the power of sistering, Pavlina began to reach out to other women in Wellesley and Weston who were divorcing to offer her support. One of them was her friend and neighbor, Sue Kisiday, who took a year to return her phone calls. "Denial is a powerful thing," Kisiday explains. Sistering proved to be healing balm for both. "Sistering led me on the path to the light at the end of the tunnel," Kisiday explains. "I highly recommend seeking sistering early in the process — it's both comforting and inspiring to learn from someone who has come through the process and is on the other side. It helped me understand what was ahead and how to best prepare myself." Similarly, Pavlina offers, "There is no better feeling than to make a difference in a woman's life when she is undergoing divorce. I appre- Sistering S U R O J E E T G H A T A K "Divorce is one of the most traumatic experiences any one can go through." C h r i s t i n a Pa v l i n a / c o - f o u n d e r o f J a n e D o e s W e l l 110 W e l l e s l e y W e s t o n M a g a z i n e | s u m m e r 2 0 1 6 "Sistering led me on the path to the light at the end of the tunnel." S u e K i s i d a y / c o - f o u n d e r o f J a n e D o e s We l l

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