WellesleyWeston Magazine

SPRING 2015

Launched in 2005, WellesleyWeston Magazine is a quarterly publication tailored to Wellesley and Weston residents and edited to enrich the experience of living in two of Massachusetts' most desirable communities.

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Perhaps you could use an article in the paper or a book about aging to broach uncomfortable topics. The conversation might go like this: Daughter: "If you need extra care, how would you want that to work? Mom: "No, I'll never need that." Daughter: "If you can just help me out, give me a hypothetical answer, because I'm a little nervous." Metchik is a strong believer in using "fiblets" to protect the dignity of seniors. If Dad blames you for taking his keys, for example, help find them rather than suggest he misplaced them. When they turn up, just say, "Sorry, Dad, I must have moved them over here." Understandably, children become alarmed when they start seeing chips in the rocks their parents have been all their lives. But they may also underestimate their parents' resilience. A woman in her early 90s who volunteers at the Weston Council on Aging had been resisting her children's suggestion that she try out a seniors home. When she was involved in a car accident, her son called Metchik and said, essentially, this is it, Mom has to move. Metchik discovered that the accident hadn't been the woman's fault, but that of a teenage driver who had plowed into her. Suffering only a shoulder injury, the woman didn't let the accident rattle her. She arranged to have her car repaired and to drive a rental in the meantime. In a talk at the Weston council, the woman said that all her life she had deferred to the men in the family. Even as a child, her parents would listen to her brothers, but not her. "At over 90, I found my voice," she says. Clearing the Emotional Underbrush Metchik says that as an outsider, without emotional ties, she may have more success circumventing a senior's defenses. But she's careful not to be intrusive. 88 When Aging Comes Between Parent and Child W e l l e s l e y W e s t o n M a g a z i n e | s p r i n g 2 0 1 5

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